Tuesday, May 8, 2012

packing up.

metaphoric for the rest of my life.  i thought that it would be easier to have this whirlwind. i have been waiting, waiting for two years and suddenly it all comes down to this week. moving, signing, finalizing and in the midst of it, remembering. packing boxes, sorting through pieces of your life.  sorting through memories you thought were sacred, or that maybe meant something.  memories i have been avoiding, but as i sort through and separate piles....."goodwill.....garbage, pack away......."  i am doing the same with the memories and everything i have stuffed for the past few years feels uneasily close to the surface.

aidan and i were discussing memories tonight.  he has a few he "hopes he never forgets."  only eight years old and he realizes the value of the good ones.  i hope he can hold on to those and forget the rest.  he took a little video as we toured the house,   memorializing his favorite climbing tree, his desk/fort under the stairwell, secret hiding spots. my list is just as long. little nursery, his strawberry garden, first steps in our first house, newlyweds full of fresh dreams.  now strangers.  as we grew apart i put more time and energy into our little old house and now as we get ready to say goodbye and move i just wish i could spend a few more days here making a few more memories instead of doing dishes, fretting over messes and the endless list of chores and projects i always had for myself.

the good news is, however, we are not moving far. we will just be moving a few houses down from this one, remaining on second street. i like to think we are taking a little sabbatical.  we are moving into our
lovely neighbors home for the year and already i can feel the arms of the neighborhood wrapped around me with care. and as much as i crave my own place and that feeling that it is "mine" i am looking forward to this time of rest and just being.